you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize