I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
