Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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