I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
