My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
