and you said cock pushups were impossible
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
