Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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