They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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