just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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