I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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