We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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