I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
