evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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