ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let's paint friendship bongs
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
