I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
