I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we should paint friendship bongs
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
