Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
