i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
