Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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