omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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