Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize