i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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