I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
