I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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