im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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