I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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