we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
