I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
