fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize