You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
