nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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