he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
