Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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