They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is classic penis vs brain.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
