He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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