Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's Friday. Sex?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
