So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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