It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize