Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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