did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
