Already got asked if we're dating
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize