I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
