No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
