i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
