someone threw a dead crab at me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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