I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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