haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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