I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize