You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
