i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
