After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
