Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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