North Korea, Best Korea!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
