come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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