matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm both gender and math confused
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
