I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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