This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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