We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
