how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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