My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
