dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
