he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
