i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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