hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
