I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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