420 ftw
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
