i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
