I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All the doctor said was why
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
